Monday, 4 January 2010

Wii

The Wii is stupid.


I get that for people who aren't gamers it's a great way in because it's not just pressing buttons, this is fun for old and young alike but not for me.


I'm not what I'd call a massive gamer, so don't think of me as some pretentious loon when I say that I hate the Wii. I enjoy video games and I like to write about them, but that's just a human giving an opinion on what they do in their spare time. And I don't know why anyone would not want to do that for fun.


Just examine the Wii, the idea of it's controller when you get down to it, is that it is supposed to replicate the movement you would perform if you were actually doing what your video game avatar was doing.


But it just isn't that at all. It's just an arbitrary movement, so arbitrary that you might as well be pressing a button, but it's not as easy as pressing a button it's waving your arm around looking like a twat.


Let me give you an example. I was playing Wii Grand Slam Tennis with my best friend Tom. He and I both play tennis in real life, and while neither of us are the next Andy Murray—me least of all—we definitely know how to hit a fairly decent forehand and backhand and how to direct a ball around the court. Every time we play this game I get ridiculously frustrated because it just doesn't seem to be doing what I tell it to. I end up screaming at Tom, 'Look this is how you do a forehand across court in real life, is it not?',

to which he will reply something like, 'Yes' or, 'Affirmative',

and I say, ' And is it not the concept of the Wii that it replicates real life movements?',

to which he will reply, 'Yes',

'So why does it not do an across court forehand when I do this',

'Because you have to learn how to do it the way the Wii wants it done',

'Then how is that replicating real life movements ARRRRGGGHHHH!',

Stuart's head explodes and his lifeless body flops to the ground,

Tom shrugs and says, ' dude the Wii guys head won't explode if you do it like that, you have to do it the way the Wii wants you to'.


Yeah that's right Tom in your face I dissed you in my blog, what you gonna do about that.


P.S I'm so sorry about New Years, please pass on my apologies to your Parents, I will never do that again I promise you.