Tuesday, 31 March 2009

FRIGGIN STUPID ARRRGGGHHH!

Today has been a poop-storm of poop. I'm working on my dissertation trying to get this video for my study sorted out. I did the filming yesterday with some excellent friends who I will be forever indebted to. Today came editing I thought easy peasy, I've got a mac, just bung it all in iMovie HD and string 'em together with maybe a couple of bits cut out... NOOOOOOOO.

First issue, tried to play the videos in quicktime, "Sorry it's not actually a video file". Well actually it clearly is, you've recognised it as a quicktime thing, and it quite clearly says MPG on the end, it's a video file. Fine ok deep breath, try VLC, wooot it works, but there's a bit I want to cut out and if I play it as a playlist in VLC it's all jumpy and stuff between parts.

But as long as it works in iMovie, what's the problem, "sorry quicktime couldn't parse it". What, no sorry but what, "parse", bugger off. Right ok don't worry deep breath, flatmate Joe said he found a cool editing program for mac OS, let's call him, "Joe, come quick, need help, please!".

"Hey Stu, wassup",
"I, need that thing like now",
"oh ok, be right back...here it is",
"but that's not even a thing",
"oh yeah"

many minutes of umming and ahhhing.

"let's do it on your PC"
"oh ok yeah lets do it"

So we go to Joe's room and get an editing package and spend an hour or so editing, much grunting and exclamations of "why isn't there a cut option". Finally though it's done. We start the render and Joe goes off to work. Later on I get the file and put it on my mac and try to play it in quicktime, "sorry you don't have the right codec see if it's here...". It wasn't there. BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER. So I go online and try to find tips on how to solve the problem, apple support has a lovely article on how to sort out avi problems, find out what format the audio and video is in and get the relevant codec. Ok so the audio is fine we have that codec but the video is in IV50, what the deuce! Find the codec, every article I find says, "it doesn't exist for mac, and probably never will", ARRRRGGGHHHH.

But there are other options, let's go back to the initial problem, now we know what we have to do to find out what codec we need, we can do that with the original files, get it in quicktime, do the editing in iMovie which'll be much easier than the stupid program Joe found and Bob is most assuredly the sibling of one of your parents. Can't open it in quicktime still, so let's get it in VLC and find out through that. Ok so it's mpga and mpgv for audio and video respectively, score, now we're getting somewhere.

Online, how do I get it into some semblance of quicktimery. Try MPEG Streamclip, all the forums say. Woooo, I'm getting close I can feel it. Right go MPEG Streamclip!

I suddenly bore the expression of an individual who has had all of his hopes and dreams crushed.

"By the way, do you have this MPEG2 codec, oohh looks like you don't errrm you kinda need it to convert this into the quicktimery, soo you gotta get it",
"fine give it to me, after all of this, one more codec isn't going to hurt me",
"Well the thing is and don't get angry, and definitely don't throw anything, especially not me, remember how much you love me and what we've been through together, but that codec isn't free",
"I don't understand how can it not be free that's just stupid",
"Well it isn't, infact it costs more than 10 pounds",

RAGE
RAGE
RAGE

"WHAT! WHAT! YOU EVIL F*****G BA*****D, I AM GONNA RIP OFF YOUR **** AND FEED THEM TO A RABID GOAT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, YOU WILL BE ***LESS, AND NO LONGER WILL YOU BE ABLE TO HAUNT MY FRAGILE EXISTENCE WITH YOUR S**TSTORM OF CODECS AND OTHER SUCH NONSENSE".

Anyway that's been my day, how's everyone elses been?

1 comment:

Darius said...

I enjoyed your rant. Thanks